GRIEF.....I'm so there!

I have SERIOUSLY been neglecting this blog! I looked at it today and realized that it's been well over a month since I've posted! UGH!!

Honestly, I've been reading and keeping up with everyone in the blogosphere.....but the storms are raging around here lately. Every time I'd sit down to post, I'd read what I'd written and think "man....how depressing" !! So I'd just delete everything and turn the computer off!


I LOVE blogging! I really do!! I just don't want to sound like a whiney butt, so I keep deleting.

So I've decided to skim over the things going on, and I'm going to develop an "Attitude of Gratitude" from here on out. NO MORE CRY BABIES!!


So here goes......(feel free to click off at any time)


Grief x1



I'm really, I mean REALLY, missing my brother!
As the holiday season approaches it seems to get worse.

In the past month, I've also found out that 2 people very dear to me were diagnosed with late stage 4 cancer!
Can we say "CANCER SUCKS" ? I really want to scream that!!!
Neither one of them has very long to live, but they are fighting with all they have and praying without ceasing!


On the up side....I have been through 1 grief support class with hospice, and am currently in another group for grief through the holidays.

Grief.....what a word with many meanings !

While I am attending this holiday group, I'm also in training.

I feel that God has led me to facilitate a Grief Support Group at our Celebrate Recovery program at church.

I know that it's my responsibility to take the experiences God has carried me through, and use what I've learned to help others! That, in itself is another form of therapy for me.


Grief #2:

I blogged here about our daughter in law and Lyric moving out of our house without BJ.
All of that has changed, and not for the better!
A few weeks ago, I was off work and cleaning the house. I went up to clean the bathroom that BJ was using and smelled theis horrible stench in the hallway. So being the cleaner that I am....I got the Fabreeze and opened BJ's bedroom door to spray. OMG.....I was NOT prepared for what I found! Garbage everywhere! Literally, garbage.....YUCK!!
BUT......it only took a second for me to realize there was a bigger problem going on. There were liquor bottles everywhere. Not just a few beer cans ( which would have been bad enough) but LOADS of empty "hard liquor" bottles. A few full......most empty!
MY SON HAS A MAJOR DRINKING PROBLEM! LORD HELP US ALL!
We had no idea! But then again...how could we? We never saw him!

This is awful in itself, but Chuck is an alcoholic! He's been sober for 17 1/2 years :0) but how much disrespect can BJ have by bringing that mess into our home?
Chuck and I talked and prayed and prayed some more, then we decided it was time for BJ to go!
Chuck took the next day off of work, and we were going to tell BJ either we would help him with treatment, or he had to move. His option.
We never got that chance. He never came home! We have not seen him since.
We know that he's ok....we checked. He is evidently living with Catherine and her mom and her brother and Lyric in a very small 2 bedroom house. I really don't think that Catherine has any clue about the drinking. It was not going on 6 weeks ago. Or if it was....he kept it very well hidden.
We've tried to call, text, what ever we can.....but he has our phone numbers blocked!

Now, it's looking like not only will I be without my brother for the holidays, but my kids and grandaughter too. I'm just so broken hearted!

BUT...... I know, without hesitation, that my son is a Child of God and God is in control here!
I just need to have faith! And I do !!!!
I have laid this all down at the feet of Jesus and told him that I can't handle it!
He has assured me that I don't need to......he has it all under control!
Thank you Father!
This is honestly the first time that I think I've been able to lay something down and walk away from it. I do have a peace about this all.

Several years ago (when my Mom had passed away) a dear friend told me the greatest thing!
I cling to it today! She opened her Bible and started reading
"And it came to pass"....."And it came to pass".... "And it came to pass".....THEN SHE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID......But ya know what????
IT NEVER CAME TO STAY!!!!

THANK YOU LORD FOR YOUR WORDS AND CHRISTIAN FRIENDS!!

BAD MOTHERS ANONYMOUS

I stumbled on this web site while blog hoping earlier today.

Some of the stories here made me laugh out loud, but a lot of them made me sick!

I think this started out as a fun outlet for overwhelmed moms to just "vent" and realize that there is no such thing as a perfect mother. However, the more recent posts are unbelievable!

These women should NEVER have been given the privilege of being a mother.

I can't believe they find this stuff to be amusing......let alone post about it!

Here are just a few of the posts I've read.....

I've never been one that like displays of affection, especially hugs. My 8 year old loves to hug, sometimes when I shew him away when he asks for what I feel are excessive hugs.
-Anonymous 6/22/2009

Here's been my daughter's diet for today:
Breakfast--junior sundae and corndog from Sonic
Lunch--Cheetos and Diet Coke
Dinner--neopolitan ice cream
Who am I, Britney Spears?
-Anonymous 6/4/2009

I had my daughter when I was 17 yrs old, honestly I wanted to have abortion or put her up for adoption. But my mother kept telling me about these women who had abortion.."she went into depression" "she got mentally ill" etc. She also said if I gave my daughter up for adoption, she would take her and raise her. I felt like I had no choice but to have her. So now my daughter is 4 years old, and I'm still angry at myself for the choice I made. I feel like I don't have a life anymore, I work but all the money goes to feeding, clothing, daycare, toys, etc. for her! I can't get child support for the father just because he doesn't work!!! He's 22 years old and still lives with his mother who pays his bills!!
I love my daughter but sometimes "this" is too much..
I'm a bad mother... : (
-Anonymous 5/25/2009

I and my late husband (my kids stepfather) allowed my eldest to smoke pot and drink at 14.....and I have the nerve to bad mouth their father.
Anonymous -- 8/11/2008

But then there are these:

When my daughter was about 1 or so, I was changing her diaper. It was a Sunday. I swear she had a worm. I pulled one out of her bottom when I was wiping her. It was like 4 inches long. I called the doctor. We all got wormed. Her doctor wanted to see her on Monday and bring the worm with us. I walked in, (my MIL had already taken her and I met them from work)they both started laughing at me...My MIL had forgotten to tell me that they ate chinese and Mandy LOVES SPROUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was a bean sprout!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....We all got wormed...for nothing.
Anonymous -- 7/17/2008

As my daughter got older, I kept telling my hubby to "watch what you say" around her and he keeps telling me she doesn't pay attention. As all Mom's know (guess not Dads tho) kids will repeat anything and mostly at the worst time. My hubby is not the most kind driver, so if someone is in front of him, not moving to his fast pace, he usually yells at them "Come on ya friggin bone head MOVE" (thank goodness he has made his language more PG rated)
So one day as I am sitting at a stop light behind another car with all the windows down in the car and my 3 yo in the backseat, the light turns green and the car in front doesn't move as soon as the light turns green. So in a loud voice I hear from the back seat "Come on ya friggin bonehead MOVE"
Gotta love what Dads teach their kids!
Anonymous -- 5/23/2008

Keep in mind this event happened on a day that this particular 15 year old boy was acting like a 15 year old boy. ATTITUDE, Hormone-filled, awkward hairs popping out of his chin Ball of Yuckyness.
15 year old son says to mom.....
"Mom, why did you even have me? I didn't ASK to be born you know!"
The very wise and very beautiful mother quickly responds...
"Well... I didn't know it was going to be YOU!"
Not nice, and yes, I , oops I mean she would have chosen him.... I, er I mean she would have just chosen him without the attitude!
(don't worry.... he burst into laughter and had to admit that his mother is indeed the Queen of Smart-as-a-whip, lightening-fast, comebacks to snotty questions.)
I, darn it.. I mean SHE wins! -- Dana in Texas

Am I being picky or what??? What do you think of a web page like this???

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

HARVEST PRAISE!

Chuck and I have these AMAZING friends, the Corley family!

They are members of our church, and a true example of Gods Love on earth!
There is NOTHING this family will not do to help a brother or sister in need. They are always the first to call or show up without you even asking. They were such a blessing to us during Mike's illness and passing! There were days that I would be working and having a really hard time. Out of no where, Janie would call me and say "God just asked me to pray with you today....do you mind?" Wow! It was ALWAYS when I needed it the most!

I LOVE THESE GUYS!!

Janie, Milt, and their children (Craig, Jennifer, and Rachael)have one of the most amazing witnesses I have ever seen.

They own a farm in north Christian County called "Christian Way Farm." They use a theme of "Sowing Seeds For Tomorrows Harvest". This truly is a CHRISTIAN FARM!

Their teen twins, Jennifer and Craig, just returned from a mission trip in the Ukraine where they took the Tres Dias program to a primarily unsaved part of the world to show the love of God!

The farm also follows the Kentucky and Tennessee Combined Curriculum in the areas of science, primary math, practical living,as well as vocational and social studies. Many schools use the farm tours as a teaching field trip.

The program starts with a "food" (such as pizza, tacos, hamburgers and french fries), and teaches the children everything that goes into making that food.

They teach them how to plant all of the veggies needed for the dish, how to care for the calf that will become the meat, how to grind corn for taco shells....you get it!

To me, one of the most touching "teaching stories" Janie does is to carve a pumpkin for the children. She uses that activity to teach the story of salvation! She explains how we are all a whole being (like the pumpkin) and when we accept Jesus as our Saviour, God cleans out all of the "yucky stuff" (the insides of the pumpkin) and puts his light and love inside of us (the finished pumpkin with a candle in it) AWESOME!!

The 3rd Saturday of each October, the farm hosts "Harvest Praise".

That's October 17 for all of you that are looking for an awesome way to spend the day with your family!

Harvest Praise is a fun filled day to play and give God praise for his abundant blessings of the year.

There will be puppet shows,live music, music, and more music!

Your children can navigate the corn crop mazes, play in the grain trucks, race on the tricycle track, pick a pumpkin, explore the straw castles, learn to shell and grind corn, pet and feed the animals, and many many other activities.

Mom and dad can also participate, or browse the country store, ride on the lawnmower train, take a hayride, or just rock on the front porch! The food is plenty, as well as the fellowship.

I guarantee you'll have a great time!

If you can't come to Harvest Praise on the 17th, then visit the farm on the other Saturdays in October. The hayrides, pumpkins, animals, cornmaze, etc are available. The music and food are not part of those days other Saturdays, but there is still plenty to do.

And if you can't make it on a Saturday, the farm is open every weekday thru October from 9 am to 1 pm. If those times don't fit your schedule still, just contact them--they will be glad to find a time that you can get to the farm.

Come on out to Harvest Praise on the 17th and meet the Corley's!It's an all day event, and I promise you won't be dissapointed!!

EXTREME MAKEOVER....CLARKSVILLE EDITION

The news today reported that Extreme Makeover Home Edition is once again building a home for a family in need in Clarksville, Tennessee!
That's only about 15 miles from where I live.
I'm so excited!

They did a build in Clarksville in 2005 for the family of an army medic that had been injured in Iraq.
It was fantastic!

This build will be done the week of October 17th. That also happens to be the week Chuck and I are on vacation! We had talked of possibly going to the Smokey Mountains for a few days, but I think I'd much rather volunteer to work on this build!

If any of you are in the Clarksville/Hopkinsville/Ft. Campbell area, you can go here and fill out a volunteer application to work on the project.
Not everyone will be accepted to work, but they do need about 2000 people.
Everything from builders, to painters, to people catering for the crew are going to be needed.
We ALL have something to offer!

I love this show. It always makes me cry, and also reinforces my beliefs that there are still good caring people in America!

Come on Kentucky and Tennessee..... let's show these people some Southern Hospitality!

ANSWERED PRAYER

GUESS WHO CAME TO VISIT YESTERDAY?



Chuck and I were watching the Titans loose **sigh** and we heard this little voice say "Nana....I've been looking for you!"

BJ brought her over so we could visit for a little bit. It was only for about an hour and a half....but it's a major breakthrough!

We did some reading.....

Played with our Littlest Pet Shop "guys" for a while, played on Lyric's "farm" on the computer, and then she was teaching me her newest hobby....BELLY DANCING! lol

Catherine has a belly dancing dvd she uses in her workout. Lyric's belly dancing consisted mostly of running in a circle and clapping her hands.

We built robots with her Lego blocks, and then it was time to go home.

The time went by so fast! But I'm so thankful we got to visit with her!

Thank you God for answering our prayers, and thank you friends for praying for us!

BROKENHEARTED

This is Lyric....my 3 year old grandaughter....my heart outside of my body!

I love this child (and my grandson) more than just about anything in this world. Chuck and I have kept her every weekend since she was born. We get special "Nana and PawPaw" time, as well as give her parents a very well deserved break! Win Win....right?

I thought so too.

My son was laid off from his job last November. Chuck and I have done our very best to support them and help them out during the lay off. They even moved back home with us earlier this spring.

Our house is plenty big enough to accomodate everyone, and it gave them a chance to get back on their feet. It's what we parents do, right?

I though so too!

BJ, our son, went back to work over 4 months ago. The kids were still staying with us until they could get things caught up.

Well, 9 weeks ago....let me repeat that......9 WEEKS AGO....Catherine took Lyric and left!

(I've thought long and hard about posting this....but it's MY blog after all...and I need to say a few things)

I don't know all of the story behind her leaving, just that there has been trouble between them for over a year now! BJ told us this last week.

We knew something "wasn't right" because of the way Catherine was acting. She was very depressed and frankly, just didn't pay attention to Lyric at all.

She was spending most of her days either in bed, or sitting on the sofa doing Sudoko puzzles. Nothing more....no playing with Lyric, no tv...nothing!

We started potty training Lyric, and on the very first day Lyric had several accidents. To be expected, right??? At least I expected them, having potty trained 2 myself.

Well, Catherine went off!!!! She screamed and hollered at Lyric telling her what a failure she was as a Mom, and how she couldn't teach her anything! THE FIRST DAY!!

BJ works second shift, so after her went to work, I went in the living room and told Catherine she was NOT a failure, and this was going to take time. I also told her that if she kept telling Lyric what a failure as a mom she was......that's what Lyric would grow up to believe!

Things seemed ok for a few days after that. THEN.....on that Sunday Catherine wanted nothing.... NOTHING to do with Lyric!

She kept telling her all day to go away, or go downstains with Chuck and me. So she did!

We spent all day playing, coloring, etc.

Around supper time, Lyric went upstairs to go potty, and told Catherine she was hungry.

Catherine came totally unglued on the poor baby! She grabbed her arm and screamed at her that "she was sick of her, and didn't want to even look at her face" Then she told her to get out of her way!

I'd had enough!!

BJ came and rescued Lyric....he took her in the bathroom to get a bath.

Then I went into the living room.......... Naturally, I was none too happy at the time.

I told Catherine that I NEVER wanted to hear her talk like that to Lyric again. She's only 3...she did not deserve to be spoken to like that!!!!

I also told her that there were times I was sick of my 26 year old kids.....but I would NEVER talk to them like that! Lyric had done nothing to deserve this!

Catherine just went to pieces and ran to the bedroom and slammed the door.

BJ fed Lyric and put her to bed. Then he went to work.

When Chuck came home Monday afternon, they were gone! NOT BJ.....just Catherine and Lyric!

BJ said when he woke up that day, Catherine had her brother over at the house packing up their stuff, and she was moving back to her Mothers house.

I went into Lyrics room, and Catherine had taken all of Lyrics things (except the things we had bought her). She also took everything (I mean everything) we had bought for her over the last 6 years she and BJ have been together and dumped it on Lyrics bed. She wants nothing to do with us anymore! All because of me defending Lyric!

Fast forward 9 weeks.....BJ is still living with us, and Catherine is still at her moms house.

She's told BJ that she "doesn't want to be married anymore".....but she doesn't want a divorce because she has no means of support! She has never had a job, and does not drive. She told BJ she needs him for his money! Seriously???

My son is heartbroken! He really loves Catherine!

In her defense, I will say that since all of this has taken place, we've found out that Catherine is bi-polar and has sense been medicated. This has helped tremendously with the mood swings....but the attitude is still the same!

She has told BJ that if he finds a new palce and gets everything set up and moved then she will consider moving back with him. But not until everything is done to her satisfaction!

(she really needs the crown knocked off of her head).

In the meantime....Chuck and I have been denied any contact with Lyric at all!

We have not seen her in 9 WEEKS!!

Catherine says she is afraid that if she lets Lyric come over, we won't send her back! Are you kidding me?? She says she's afraid we will keep her because she is such a bad mother!!
NOTHING like that has ever even been suggested!

We've talked to BJ about this, but he says it just starts another fight if he approaches the subject, but he will "try to work on it!"
We know that KY recognizes grandparents visitation rights. We just really hate taking our own kids to court.
In the meantime, BJ is still living with us (rent free), and driving across town every day to visit his wife and daughter. We still have our house full of all of their household goods (I have put most of my stuff away to make room for theirs),and BJ is paying for all of the utilities and groceries at Catherines mom's house.
She is disabled and can't work.
I'm not sure where this saga is going to go, but I do know a couple of things. BJ has to make his own decisions about his marriage. We've told him we are here to support him, but we have no place in their marriage! I also know that we cannot continue to enable his behavior as far as Chuck and I are concerned. I'd like to have my house back if they aren't going to live there.....and
I WANT TO SEE MY GRANDBABY!
PLEASE PRAY FOR ALL OF US AND THIS SITUATION!