Thursday, July 16, 2009

I'm Backkkkkk

OK, so I've been reminded that I've neglected the blogosphere long enough! I guess that's right. I've set down a hundred times to write a post, but my mind is just so jumbled up that nothing made much sense!

Blogging is really a form of therapy for me, so I figure I'm just going to spill out whatever comes to mind, and eventually it will sort itself out! Clear as mud??



I'm still sorting out the fact that I've lost my brother. A friend of mine said it best when he said "Sometimes you're a chicken....sometimes just feathers" ! lol

I think things are getting better, then something happens to set me back a bit. Like today, I was at work catching up on email and service calls. I opened my pictures folder to send a picture of some freight damage to the mfg. and a picture of Mike popped up!

WOW!! Did not expect that!

Then the funeral home called to tell me that Mikes death certificates were in. UGH!

I've been waiting for them so I can start settling his estate....but that made it all to real!

It's only been 2 weeks, so I guess I'm still on track.

You always kind of expect to loose your parents and grandparents....that's life.

But to loose a child, or a sibling??? That just doesn't seem fair!



I have several friends that have lost their children. I can not imagine how that must feel!

Today was a very sad day for a very special friend of mine. Hospice assigned Mike a social worker named Tina that I have grown VERY close to. 3 years ago today, Tina's son Zack was killed by a gunshot! He was only 6 years old! Zack is buried in the Veterans Cemetery close to my brother, and right behind my dad.

I went out to the cemetery yesterday to take some paperwork and stopped in to visit with Zack.

How sad! I'm so sorry Tina. My heart breaks for you!



When we were preparing for Mike's services, I was reading through his Bible and found a poem Mike had written. That's not unusual because he was a published poet, but this one was special! He wrote it as a thank you to everyone that cared for him over the past few years. It will forever be special to me. We had one of his best friends read it at the funeral.

It's called "A Tribute To An Angel"....

“TRIBUTE TO AN ANGEL”
HERE’S TO YOU AN ANGEL, MY SPECIAL FRIEND
FOR LOOKING DEEP INTO MY SOUL
FOR GIVING HOPE WHEN LIFE SEEMED AT IT’S END
FOR UNSELFISH LOVE THAT OVERFLOWS

HERE’S FOR BELIEVING WHEN OTHERS CAST ASIDE
FOR SEEING A SHINING STRENGTH WITHIN
FOR COMFORTING WORDS TO SAFELY CONFIDE
FOR DEFINING THE TRUTH OF A FRIEND

HERE’S TO YOU FOR IGNITING THE PILOT LIGHT
OF A HEART THAT HAD SURELY GROWN COLD
FOR DIRECTING THE WAY TO THE PATH THAT IS RIGHT
FOR KNOWING WHAT I NEEDED WITHOUT BEING TOLD

HERE’S FOR EMBRACING A PERSON AS “A WHOLE”
FOR GOD DOESN’T LOVE IN PIECES
FOR THROWING A LIFELINE WHEN LIFE TOOK IT’S TOLL
FOR HOLDING ON TILL THE STORMY WAVE CEASES

HERE’S FOR TEACHING ME TO BELIEVE IN FAITH
CONCERNING PURPOSE IN GODS MYSTERIOUS WAYS
FOR SHOWING PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE WORTH THE WAIT
IN UNDERSTANDING FOR A LATER DAY

HERE’S FOR SUCCESS ACHIEVED WHERE OTHERS FAILED
TO BUILD MY CONFIDENCE IN HUMANITY
FOR BEING THE WIND THAT FILLED MY SAILS
ON A SEA OF INSANITY

HERE’S TO COMPASSION YOU’VE SHOWN THROUGH THE YEARS
TO BRING A SENSE OF PEACE TO MY MIND
HERE’S TO YOUR WORDS THAT DRIED MANY TEARS
THROUGH TRIBULATION AND TRYING TIMES

HERE’S PRAYERS AND BLESSINGS SENT TO GOD ABOVE
FOR YOU’RE A PRICELESS DEBT I CAN’T REPAY
ALL I HAVE TO OFFER IS UNSELFISH LOVE
AND THESE WORDS OF TRIBUTE TODAY…..
THANK YOU

MIKE HAMMERS

I promise I'll be back on a regular basis! I'll get back to posting messages to all of you too!
I love you guys!
Just keep praying for me!

6 comments:

Wanda said...

The poem is very moving Jacki, such a beautiful thing for your brother to do...it gives us a glimpse of what a caring person he was.

Sneaky Momma said...

Oh, Jacki. What a beautifully written poem, Such a great tribute to all of you who loved and cared for Mike. I think it's awesome that he had the foresight to write it and place it where you would be sure to find it after his death. Praying for you, my friend. :)

Robyn said...

What a beautiful poem written by a beautiful Brother! I continue to keep you and the family in my prayers.

Sara Williams said...

You are going through such a traumatic time right now. I think back to when my brother died 19 years ago age 25 (car crash) I just cant remember much for about a year of that time, just snippets. Thats the minds way of coping with hurt.

Just take it easy, take your time and keep blogging!

STILLMAGNOLIA said...

The poem was lovely. We have missed you and I lost my brother due to an accident many years ago and I still have moments when it hurts. My prayers will be with you.

Aly Beth said...

This was really beautiful! Thanks for sharing and opening up, I need those reminders all of the time!