WARNING...RANT AHEAD!!

Gosh, I just can't seem to get back into blogging! Somebody help me!
My head is spinning with things I can post, but I can't seem to sort them out.

I'm really in a funk lately that I can't seem to shake. Too many things are going on, and I'm just trying to find light at the end of the tunnel.

I really feel like I'll get better emotionally after I can get started settling Mike's estate. I STILL do not have a check from the life insurance company. The funeral home keeps telling me that "these things take time, but over a month"? Come on!!
I finally called them this week. I had at least 4 different people tell me that Mike had no insurance with their company!! WHAT???
They could not find him by name, social security number, or date of birth!
CRAP!!
PANIC TIME!!
Could I please send them back the original policy??? Oh PLEASE!!!!!
I finally called his HR director at the plant he worked at, and she gave me the Cobra conversion number. I called them back. OHHHHHHH, they said, they had sold his policy to another company!
Seriously?? When?? Why weren't we notified?

After getting transferred to like 6 different people, I finally got someone who would at least look at the problem. Turns out the problem was that "someone sent" me some forms to fill out 3 days after Mike died, and I never returned them. I NEVER GOT THEM!!! Who sent them???
The original insurance company, or the people it got sold to? (They couldn't answer that)
I had no idea that they had sold the policy. So this ever so sweet girl faxed me the papers necessary. I filled them out, included the original policy, a death certificate, and mailed them back the same night.
Two days later, I get the original paperwork in the mail! They want me to do it all over again, except that I've sent them the original policy all ready. 5 phone calls later, they tell me that they DO have my paperwork, but they are doing an investigation since he had the policy less than 3 years! I should expect a decision in 10-14 days! A DECISION????? I paid his premiums a year in advance! Grrrrrrrrr..... There's do doubt that he died, they have a certified copy to prove it!
He had cancer.....there was no autopsy....why an investigation?
I HATE INSURANCE COMPANIES!!

BJ and Catherine are still living with us. I love my kids, I really do.....but they need to move!
They were supposed to be there until they could get back on their feet from BJ's lay off....but he's been back at work for 6 weeks now and they are not even looking for a place.
I really do love having them close, but I've raised my kids....and I waited too long to have time alone with Chuck. Sometimes it's nice to run through the house naked if you forgot your undies before you got in the shower! Sometimes it's nice to take a hot shower, and not get frozen because "someone else" took a 30 minute hot shower right before you!
Sometimes it's nice to spend the day all alone, and have a chance to think about something other than what Max and Ruby are going to do today!
I'M STRESSED !

My job really sux right now, too!
People are having a hard enough time trying to eat and pay bills.....so obviously they are NOT buying furniture! My boss has cut my staff dramatically. I'm in the store by myself all but 2 days a week. We're only available to deliver on Saturday. The public is pissed at me!
When we are making a sale, I'm having to load it out for people. (they never bring enough strong helpers). I'm unloading trucks by myself....I'm stuck and I HATE IT!!!!!!!
I'll be 52 this month. I have no business loading furniture and unloading trucks!
But.....they say if I want to make a sale, I'll do what I can to close it!
I NEED A NEW JOB!!!!!!!!
I drive 20 minutes each way to work, and have no customers! No customers= no sales.....no sales = no commission. No money makes me cranky!

See, I told you I had alot going on......I sooooooo need a break!
Everyone tells me that I just had a vacation last month. I did....I went to my sister's house for 4 days. BUT.....while I was there, I was fielding phone calls from my brother (who was very sick at the time) and my other sister who was taking care of him. So we came home early, and Mike died 2 days after I got home. The rest of my vacation was spent planning a funeral, and grieving. (I'm still doing that).

My boss actually told me that "I needed to get over it"!
He said they had tried to be understanding while Mike was sick but now that Mike was gone he expected me to give 150%! If only that was the only thing going on with me.....maybe I could.
The saddest part is that my boss is also a preacher! He was the pastor at my church until he retired 2 years ago. He knew my brother, and I have no doubt that he loved him....but the magic word is HIM.
HE is not here anymore and life goes on.....right?

On a brighter note.....one of the couples that attends CR with us is FINALLY expecting their first baby! They have waited, prayed, and waited some more.
Moriah started blogging her way through her pregnancy. She's new to the blogosphere, and looking for all of the mommy advice she can get.
Please stop by and tell her how happy you are for Her and Don....and throw in a bit of mommy love for them.

I hope my next post will be happier, but I have to get this all out!