Monday, April 20, 2009

a Bit Overwhelmed!

I feel like it's been forever since I've posted, or even read a blog lately. I'm just a bit overwhelmed!

Things with my brother have really taken a turn for the worst the past few days. We actually felt at ease enough to pick Lyric up for the weekend and go to church Sunday morning.
We go to Celebrate Recovery every Friday night, so on Sundays we have been sitting with Mike so my sister, Patti, can attend her church on Sunday mornings.

Friday, Mike had an appointment with his ortho doctors. That did NOT go well! We were there from 9:30 until after lunch. Most of the time spent waiting.We found out that his arm is not healing at all, and as a matter of fact, he has a huge tumor in his left shoulder now too. We expected him to loose the use of his legs soon, but had never considered loosing his arms!

We got up Sunday and Chuck cooked us a yummy breakfeast. I had Lyrics clothes all picked out for church, and was just about to get in the shower when the phone rang. It was Patti telling me that she had an awful morning with Mike and didn't know what to do. He was all but paralyzed! And...he was screaming in pain. He was stuck in the bathroom and she could not get him out! (not near as funny as that sounds).
Anyway, I grabbed a quick shower and we headed over there. WOW! What a difference 24 hours makes!

We called Hospice, and they told us to give him his meds again. (he had just taken them 3 hours earlier). They assured us it was ok, and at this point we just needed to do whatever it takes to make him comfortable. We were to call them back if he got no relief in a few minutes. So we gave him more meds, and he went back to sleep.

It became obvious that Mike can no longer use either of his arms, and his tumors have grown out of control in the past 3 days.The pain is unbearable! I feel so helpless watching him suffer this way!
He cries out to God that he has done everything he has been asked, and tried to live his last days doing God's why is God making him suffer like this? I have no answers! I feel so helpless!

Hospice came this morning and evaluated him again. They told Patti to increase his medications again, and do not let them wear off under any circumstances. He is obviously in his very last days, but he's so young that his mind is doing everything it can to fight.

PLEASE pray for comfort for Mike! AND for Patti! Mike is staying at her house and she is carrying the brunt of this load physically, as well as the heartache we both feel! I am so gratefull that God gave my sister the gifts and strength in the areas that I fail in! She is truly amazing!

Bear with me if I'm absent from the blogosphere for a while....I'll be in and out as my heart allows.


Wanda said...

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers Jacki...Hope Mike can find comfort.

Daria said...

Jacki my heart goes out to you ... it can all be too much.

Praying for some relief for Mike.

Sneaky Momma said...

Praying for you and your family, Jacki. I pray that Mike's final days can be filled with painless time spent with his loved ones.

Robyn said...

My heart goes out to you and the family! Praying for everyone! Sending big hugs to you!
I wish I had more comforting words for you.

Lea White said...

I'm so sorry to read this update. It must be incredibly tough and challenging.

I pray for comfort and strength!

Hugs, prayers and positive thoughts!!!!

Lea White

Lea White said...


There is an award over at my blog for you!

Jane said...

Mike, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers,